This was obviously a presentation by a much unprepared presenter - My apologies! I was still very much in the middle of the whole thesis process; I had data and theory but I was still unsure what it was exactly that I wanted to say about it all. I am quickly narrowing down my thoughts and have since found a much stronger idea of what I am trying to say.
Having said that- HELP!! The members of my group on rehearsal day expressed to me that they were somewhat lost during the first three or four minutes (to be honest, so was I) and then started to gain interest as I presented the raw data in the second part. I am actually reworking the entire thing so let me know what parts you think worked and which didn’t so I can edit accordingly.
I am also working on a completely different visual organization; PowerPoint just seemed the safest way to go, but having seen other peoples’ presentations it is obvious that something a little more interactive and compelling can really bring the presentation to life. Hopefully I will have constructed floor plans of the bookstore, mapping out the specific areas that I use for discussion, so that I don’t get so bogged down with trying to describe the physical layout of some 200 bookshelves! This should make it much easier for everyone to become engaged with the store’s layout, and in turn, become more engaged with the presentation as a whole. Please let me know any other suggestions you may have on how I can liven this thing up a bit! Thanks! -Patrick
though far from complete, i would say that this is already a very good presentation. i recall dr. lilly mentioning something about titles that have priority on barnes and noble's shelves and can attest to this, a reason why i generally buy books online, where i know i can find what i'm looking for and can avoid the dangers of browsing (comparable to entering a grocery store, hungry). a layout of the store will definitely help your audience to get a better idea of the segregated "spheres" that you are alluding to, as well as free up some time that you can use to talk about the website. how does this present itself rhetorically? i actually thought that you presented the first three minutes of material rather well. the only issue i have with this is that you only address written and verbal communication. i mention this primarily because barnes and noble sells film as well as audio, which means that these become part of the overall "layout" of your project by default. therefore, even if you'd rather give priority to the bookshelves, you should probably mention these. otherwise, as i mentioned above, it's quite good. to add something more interactive is where you should put your energy. the compelling aspect you've already got down, pat.
I enjoyed your presentation. I saw that you put much thought in to the connections within the bookstore. You began with an overview of your theory, but I think that you should condense the slide that you use to explain the theory. You allowed your best ideas to engage the audience in the middle. I think that your plans to incorporate floor plans of the bookstore would be extremely interesting.
I actually think you seem very confident and knowledgeable in your presentation. Yes, it could be (and undoubtedly WILL be) more polished for your final presentation, but I think this is an excellent start. Immediately, I lost any doubts that you were up there just talkin out of your ass. You seem to have applied you theory and research effectively.
My only criticism is that you should reevaluate your use of transitions on your powerpoint. The slowness and pauses in there are distracting from the information you're giving and take away from the overall appeal and interest in your topic.
Other than that, I think you're off to a great start and your end project will be very well done!
4 comments:
This was obviously a presentation by a much unprepared presenter - My apologies! I was still very much in the middle of the whole thesis process; I had data and theory but I was still unsure what it was exactly that I wanted to say about it all. I am quickly narrowing down my thoughts and have since found a much stronger idea of what I am trying to say.
Having said that- HELP!! The members of my group on rehearsal day expressed to me that they were somewhat lost during the first three or four minutes (to be honest, so was I) and then started to gain interest as I presented the raw data in the second part. I am actually reworking the entire thing so let me know what parts you think worked and which didn’t so I can edit accordingly.
I am also working on a completely different visual organization; PowerPoint just seemed the safest way to go, but having seen other peoples’ presentations it is obvious that something a little more interactive and compelling can really bring the presentation to life. Hopefully I will have constructed floor plans of the bookstore, mapping out the specific areas that I use for discussion, so that I don’t get so bogged down with trying to describe the physical layout of some 200 bookshelves! This should make it much easier for everyone to become engaged with the store’s layout, and in turn, become more engaged with the presentation as a whole. Please let me know any other suggestions you may have on how I can liven this thing up a bit! Thanks! -Patrick
though far from complete, i would say that this is already a very good presentation. i recall dr. lilly mentioning something about titles that have priority on barnes and noble's shelves and can attest to this, a reason why i generally buy books online, where i know i can find what i'm looking for and can avoid the dangers of browsing (comparable to entering a grocery store, hungry). a layout of the store will definitely help your audience to get a better idea of the segregated "spheres" that you are alluding to, as well as free up some time that you can use to talk about the website. how does this present itself rhetorically? i actually thought that you presented the first three minutes of material rather well. the only issue i have with this is that you only address written and verbal communication. i mention this primarily because barnes and noble sells film as well as audio, which means that these become part of the overall "layout" of your project by default. therefore, even if you'd rather give priority to the bookshelves, you should probably mention these. otherwise, as i mentioned above, it's quite good. to add something more interactive is where you should put your energy. the compelling aspect you've already got down, pat.
I enjoyed your presentation. I saw that you put much thought in to the connections within the bookstore. You began with an overview of your theory, but I think that you should condense the slide that you use to explain the theory. You allowed your best ideas to engage the audience in the middle. I think that your plans to incorporate floor plans of the bookstore would be extremely interesting.
I actually think you seem very confident and knowledgeable in your presentation. Yes, it could be (and undoubtedly WILL be) more polished for your final presentation, but I think this is an excellent start. Immediately, I lost any doubts that you were up there just talkin out of your ass. You seem to have applied you theory and research effectively.
My only criticism is that you should reevaluate your use of transitions on your powerpoint. The slowness and pauses in there are distracting from the information you're giving and take away from the overall appeal and interest in your topic.
Other than that, I think you're off to a great start and your end project will be very well done!
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